It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
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