somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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