That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
