Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
