Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
