Me too!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
