shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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