her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize