I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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