what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
A bitchslap is in order.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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