I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
