what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
