My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Can Purell be used as lube?
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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