i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
