i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I have grass duct taped all over my body
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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