i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
