i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
