butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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