if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
