No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
