Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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