wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
