is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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