The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
