this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Did I show you my penis last night?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
