Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
