It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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