I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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