we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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