Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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