and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
