How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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