I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
