i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
