There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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