My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
vagina is talking i cant
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
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