We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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