she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
