Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
