Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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