He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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