BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She bit a glass in half.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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