she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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