I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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