Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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