pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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