so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You've changed since you got that strap on
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
