if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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