my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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