do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
