How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
