I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
