just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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