What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
