I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
