We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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