Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
