I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
