Christians are straight up FREAKS
You're so nebulous sometimes
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
