How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Randomize
