can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
