Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize