i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
