I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
