I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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